Stalkers, Fangirls and MarySues OH MY!
by gothangelmyu
Summary: A parody of all Mary-Sue fics. A portal between this world and the YGO one has opened up. Three stupid Mary-Sues must repair the damage they've done and help Yugi and friends thwart another evil plot. No OC pairings. Shounen-ai in later chapters.
1. The spell

Joanne: Konnichi wa, minna! This is my first attempt at a Yu-Gi-Oh fanfic…so if it sucks, blame Hazel, she's the co-authoress

Hazel: Hey! (Whacks Joanne upside the head)

Laura: Don't forget about me! I helped!

Joanne: Yeah, well, this fic stars us three and perhaps some other crazy OCs. We wrote this because we hate Mary-Sues and OCs in general. BTW, Hazel's account is Hazel-Beka and Laura's is SakuraAngelic. I hope you guys enjoy the fic!

Hazel: We SO don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Kazuki Takahashi does.

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'Twas a day like any other in the world of insane fangirls, fanfiction authors and Mary-Sues. Doujinshis were being read, yaoi fanart was being drooled over and anime merchandise was being collected. The sun was shining and it was a glorious, anime-filled day.

In a random semi-detached house in north-west England, three teenage girls were huddled around a computer. The tallest was blonde with blue eyes and very cool fashionable clothes. Your typical Mary-Sue and totally anime obsessed. Her name was Laura. The girl sitting in the computer chair was a brunette with grey eyes behind her glasses. She lived, breathed and bled yaoi and she was also a highly respected fanfiction authoress known as Hazel. The third girl had dark brown hair and brown-green eyes and was a total fangirl. She was called Joanne.

"Hey guys, let me show you something," Hazel said, typing in a site address. The page that came up had anime written all over it – literally!

Laura scanned the text and rolled her eyes. "A spell to open the portal to the anime world? You don't honestly believe it'll work, do you, Hazel?"

"There's no harm in trying it," the brunette replied, printing off the page.

Joanne snatched up the piece of paper and quickly read it. "It doesn't sound too hard. We could try it out right now. We just need something related to the anime we want to visit and then to say the magic words."

"So where are we going?" Laura asked, interested in spite of herself.

"Yu-Gi-Oh," Hazel said quickly. She whipped her Duel Monsters deck out of her pocket.

"What about…" Laura started.

"Yu-Gi-Oh!" Hazel repeated firmly.

"But…"

"YU-GI-OH!"

Laura rolled her eyes and grumbled.

"Yu-Gi-Oh it is then. Glad I thought of it," Joanne agreed. She turned to the anime shrine she had next to her bed and selected her own Duel Monsters deck for herself. "Pick something, Laura." She gestured to the random Yu-Gi-Oh items.

Laura picked up a home-made Red Eyes Black Dragon plushie. "Now what?"

"We all have to say these words." Joanne pointed to the page and the three girls chorused the magical words. I think it would be better if I didn't write them down here, just in case they got into the wrong hands.

For a couple of seconds nothing happened.

"I told you it wouldn't…" Laura started, but she was cut off by a loud crack and a blinding flash of light.

XXXXXXX

Joanne: I know this chapter is short, but the next will be longer, I promise

Laura: Review!

Hazel: Or else!


	2. At the arcade

Joanne: Hi guys! Sorry about not updating sooner. I'm such a lazy girl. v.v Don't worry, I've already been told off by both Hazel and Laura. (winces)

Laura: You should have done it sooner! You stupid girl! (continues to rant)

Joane: x.X

Hazel: '':) A quick note - the yamis DO NOT have their own bodies...at least not yet. We're trying to keep the show as normal as possible, despite the crazy fangirls and Mary-Sues etc. The chapters are going to be short because it will mean quicker updates...possibly. (glares at Joanne) and because that's just what we do. We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh

XXXXXX

It started off as an ordinary day in Domino Park. It was hot and sunny and many people had decided to go outside and sunbathe or have a picnic or whatever else people do in parks. They weren't suspecting the sudden flash and loud cracking noise. They certainly weren't expecting three teenage girls to appear out of nowhere.

"You were saying, Laura?" Hazel said smugly, oblivious to the stares they were receiving.

"Shut up," the blonde hissed, glancing around nervously. "Let's get out of here before people start asking questions."

The three turned and fled. The Domino residents were left blinking in confusion. Nobody noticed what looked like a mini black hole concealed in the grass…

Joanne, Hazel and Laura ran onto the street but Joanne suddenly stopped dead in her tracks, staring at something across the road. The other two noticed she was gone and turned back.

"Hey, what's up Joanne?" Hazel asked.

"Oh…my…GOD!" Joanne suddenly yelled. "Look!" She pointed wildly, jumping up and down in excitement, for she'd spotted the Kame Game Shop, home to Yugi Motou, the main character of Yu-Gi-Oh.

"Wow, it's Yugi's house!" Laura exclaimed, her eyes widening. "Let's go see if he's in!"

The two of them started to cross the street when Hazel pulled them back. "Hold it!" she said.

"Are you crazy? Don't you want to see Yugi?" Joanne demanded.

"You know I love him, but we can't be that obvious, guys. We need to devise a plan," Hazel informed them.

The other two raised their eyebrows at her? "What's the problem with just bursting in and glomping him?" Laura asked.

"Because you could be arrested for assault," Hazel replied. "Besides, I'm the smart one. That means my ideas are the best."

"Show off," Joanne muttered under her breath.

"I heard that!"

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Inside the Kame Game Shop, Yugi was having a conversation with his darker half.

"Yugi, just now I sensed a great danger entering our world," Yami said, his see-through body sitting on the bed.

"What kind of danger?" Yugi asked curiously. "Another evil force?"

"Not exactly evil, more like chaos," Yami explained. "But I have a feeling that we're going to face it sooner rather than later."

"Well I'm sure we'll be just fine," Yugi said reassuringly.

"You're right, aibou. Now didn't you promise Joey and Tristan you'd meet them at the arcade?"

"Oh no! I'm late!"

Yami faded from view as Yugi hurried down the stairs and out of the shop, tossing a 'bye Grandpa!' over his shoulder. He was unaware of the three girls that followed him down the street…

At the arcade Yugi and his friends were soon caught up in the games and didn't notice as Joanne, Hazel and Laura ducked out of view behind a broken game machine.

"I told you if we followed Yugi he'd lead us to more bishies," Hazel whispered.

"Does Tristan even count as a bishie?" Joanne wondered. "I mean, he's totally unattractive and his hair looks like he caught it in a pencil sharpener."

"Then we found one more bishie. It's still a gain," Hazel shrugged.

Joanne suddenly felt something wet drip onto her shoulder. She blinked and looked up. "Ew!" she screamed. "Laura, quit drooling on me! That's totally disgusting!"

The whole arcade went quiet and everyone turned their way. Hazel sweatdropped and backed away into the crowd muttering, "I so don't know them."

"Um…oh darn, I lost," Joanne stammered, blushing. A few people raised their eyebrows but most of them accepted that losing a game made some people frustrated and turned away. Joanne turned to shoot a death glare at Laura who flinched.

"Sorry," she muttered guiltily. "But Yugi's just so kawaii. I can't help it."

"Well get a grip," Joanne hissed. "If you don't, you'll ruin everything! Hey, where'd Hazel go?" They both turned to see the third fangirl chatting to the bishies they were stalking.

"Why that little…" Laura started. "Come on!"

Hazel looked up as they approached. "Oh hi guys, fancy meeting you here," she exclaimed as if she'd only just seen them. "Look who I've found. It's Yugi Motou, the King of Games and Joey Wheeler."

"Wow," Laura said, playing along. "I've seen you guys on TV. I never thought I'd actually meet you though." 'Probably because I thought you were just anime characters,' she added in her mind.

Suddenly a scream pierced the air. More screams joined in like some creepy tuneless symphony. People ran past in terror, some yelling things along the lines of "oh my God" and "run for your lives!"

Joanne raised an eyebrow. "What's up with them?" she wondered aloud.

"Let's go see," Joey suggested. The six of them started to run in the opposite direction to everyone else to find out what was going on.

Meanwhile, back at the park, a blonde chibi with big blue eyes was spat out of the vortex. It was Ryou's bad luck that he just happened to be taking a walk there at the time…

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Laura: (still ranting)

Joanne: (curled up in fetal position sucking her thumb)

Hazel: Um...Laura? You can stop now. I think you're...disturbing her

Laura: (blinks) Oh. Whoops

Hazel: Review please! '':)


	3. The dragon

Joanne: O.K guys, this time I do have a valid excuse for the long wait. You see, Hazel and I wrote the first half of this chapter on her computer and she was supposed to write the rest and then send it to me for editing. But because she had a new computer, we were using a trial run of a new Word program, which expired. Typical. And her dad had lent the disk with the old Word on to one of his friends who kept forgetting to give it back. So, if it makes you feel any better, Hazel couldn't even update her own fics. Anyway, this chapter is a bit more actiony at the beginning and funny towards the end. I totally don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

XXXXXXX

The three fangirls, Yugi, Joey and Tristan ran towards the source of the screams, fighting their way through the crowd of people heading in the opposite direction. Eventually the panicking citizens had all run away or hidden and they were the only ones left. Looking up ahead, they could now see why the area was so abandoned.

"Dude…" Joanne murmured in an awed tone.

Her reply was a loud roar from the huge green dragon that was busy tearing the roof off a random bungalow. Its scales glinted in the bright sunlight and even though it was a terrifying, non-existent, ferocious monster, the six couldn't help but admire its beauty.

"Um, guys?" Joey asked, breaking the spellbound silence. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but last time I checked, dragons didn't exist."

"Apparently no one told the dragon that," Laura said dryly.

"So are we just going to stand here or can we run away screaming like babies like any sensible person would?" the ever fearless Tristan asked, his voice low in case the dragon could hear him.

The bungalow's front door flew across the street and smashed against a brick wall. A window pane shattered and shards of glass littered the pavement. The dragon lowered its head and sniffed at the remains of the building before roaring again and swinging its tail round the smash the front wall, bringing down the whole house. The crash was tremendous but the great beast was unaffected.

"As much as I love being eaten by mythical beasts, I think Tristan has a point," Hazel said, slowly removing her hands from her ears from when she'd tried to block out the noise. "There isn't really much we can do about it…unless any of you guys happen to be professional dragon slayers."

"We could probably sneak back the way we came if we kept close to the houses," Yugi agreed. But instead of moving, he cocked his head to one side and stared hard at the dragon. "You know, this might sound strange, but I feel as though I've seen that dragon somewhere before…"

And that was when the dragon lifted its head and looked straight at them.

"I think I just wet myself," Tristan whimpered.

The dragon let out a howl of triumph and started slinking towards them. It bared its slavering jaws and its eyes burned with bloodlust. The sight was mesmerizing and for a moment our six unfortunate non-dragon slayers were rooted to the spot by fear and fascination. Then it suddenly lunged at the nearest person, who happened to be Yugi.

The moment was broken and Joey grabbed his shorter friend, dragging him away from the path of danger. Someone let out a high-pitched scream, probably Tristan, and the chase was on! But unfortunately, the six were about to find out that dragons are somewhat like Britney Spears: you can't get away from them, and they have terrible breath.

"Guys," Yugi panted, "We can't lead it to other people. We have to find a way to a deserted area!"

"Follow me!" Joey gasped. He turned up a street and the others followed him.

"You sure this is the way?" choked out Joanne, clutching at a stitch in her side.

Joey didn't answer, but took a couple more turns with the dragon still hot on their tail. There was nothing for the others to do but trust the blonde. Privately, they all thought they were doomed.

However, the buildings did seem to be getting less dense. It seemed that Joey might actually be coming through for them. But what our six teens were wondering was what would happen when they reached their destination? Would the dragon devour them? Or would they somehow find a way to defeat it? My money's on the dragon.

A large and familiar building, at least to the three boys, reared up in front of them. There was a sharp right turn coming up or a narrow alley down the middle of two houses on their left. Suddenly a wave of heat passed above their heads as the dragon breathed a stream of fire, narrowly missing them.

"Damn it, Joey, which way do we go?" Laura screamed.

"Down the alley," Joey panted in reply. "Hurry!"

The others didn't need to be told twice. The angry roar from behind gave them an extra burst of speed. However, Hazel, the last one to go down the alleyway, turned back and realised Joey wasn't with them. She skidded to a halt, almost falling over in the process. Her eyes were wide at the thought that her favourite bishie could be barbecued/eaten/maimed.

"Damn you, love," she muttered, racing back out onto the street. She gasped at what she saw.

Joey was standing in front of the large building and staring defiantly up at the dragon, which roared in triumph and lashed its tail, knocking down a couple of buildings. It licked its lips…wait a moment…do dragons even have lips? Well, it licked its fangs then. Whatever. Anyway, it was a pretty scary sight.

"JOEY!" Hazel screamed just as the dragon lunged forwards. Her brain screamed at her to move, to try and save him, but her body had frozen to the spot, unable to do anything.

At the last possible second, Joey leapt out of the way but the dragon, propelled by its own momentum, crashed headfirst into the building. Hazel once again covered her ears tightly so she wouldn't be deafened by the whole structure collapsing on top of the dragon, which howled in pain. She fell to her knees as the shockwaves rippled through the ground.

When it was all over, the OC shakily climbed to her feet and rushed over to Joey.

"Are you O.K?" she asked anxiously, extending her hand so he could pull himself up.

"Yeah," the blonde grunted. He turned to stare at the damage. "Don't think the dragon is, though."

Hazel suddenly switched from being concerned to being angry. "You idiot! What were you thinking! You could have been killed! And even though I've only known you for about ten minutes, my life would have no purpose if you died!" Her mood switched again to sorrow and tears filled her eyes.

Joey gave her a strange look. He was about to say something when a shadow seemed to slide out from under the dragon, surrounding it on all sides. The unmoving beast was slowly sucked down into a vast pit of darkness. The shadows then disappeared as mysteriously as they had come.

"…That was random," Hazel commented.

Sirens started wailing in the distance, getting louder as they drew closer. Joey turned to see the other four standing at the entrance to the alleyway, staring at the collapsed building.

"That's Duke's game shop!" Tristan gasped.

"I know," Joey replied. "That's why I led the dragon to it." He shook his fist at the fallen shop. "That's for making me wear a dog costume!"

"Guys, I think we better get out of here," Laura said, raising an eyebrow slightly at Joey. "The police will be here any second."

"At the other end of the alley there's an empty field," Joey said. "We can probably find another way out of here from there."

He turned and led the way quickly down the alley, the others following him. They indeed ended up in a pretty large expanse of grass that didn't seem to have any real purpose, except perhaps for children to play on. Some rubble had piled up at the side from the late game shop.

"You don't think anyone was in there, do you?" Yugi asked worriedly.

"No way. It was closed; I saw the sign in the window," Joanne answered, just as Hazel pulled her Duel Monsters deck out of her pocket and started rummaging through it.

"What are you doing?" Laura asked her tiredly.

"Just a minute…here it is!" Hazel held up a monster card. The picture was of a green dragon and it was called Luster Dragon #2. "This card looks suspiciously like the dragon we just saw!"

"That's what I was reminded of!" Yugi exclaimed, snapping his fingers. "The dragon looked just like that duel monster!"

"But how could it have been brought to life?" Joanne asked. "I mean, who or what has the power to bring monsters to life?" 'This just keeps getting better and better,' she thought privately.

"Ooh! Ooh! I know! Pick me!" Hazel said excitedly, waving her hand in the air as if she was in school.

Laura sighed and shook her head at her eccentric friend. "Go on then, Hazel, enlighten us."

"Well you see," Hazel started, putting her hand down, "the dragon back there was obviously a distraction set up by aliens that are trying to take over our poor defenceless planet. While everybody was running and screaming, they landed their army of spaceships and started a trade of meat pies. Now they're going to trick everybody into buying their pies but what the humans don't know is that they're laced with a special alien potion that will mutate our DNA, disintegrate our spinal cords and turn us into…broccoli!"

There was a stunned silence and Joanne swore she heard crickets chirping in the background. Then she suddenly stepped forwards and whacked Hazel upside the head.

"Ow!" the taller girl moaned, rubbing her sore head. "What was that for?"

"I was hoping to counter the blow that destroyed your sanity," Joanne deadpanned. "Next you'll be telling us that Britney Spears is the alien queen."

Hazel laughed. "Come on, even I'm not that stupid! Seto Kaiba is leading the army! He's the one who brought the dragon to life! Ouch!" She rubbed her head again as it received a double attack, from Joanne and Joey. She glared at the blonde. "What did _you_ hit me for?"

"Checking you _brain_ hasn't been turned to broccoli," Joey replied.

Yugi sweatdropped and Tristan spoke up, "Does anybody have any realistic theories?"

"Well if I was wrong then it's probably an evil character-bashing-anime-hating-super-villain who has somehow merited an unheard of Millennium Item and is planning to take over this world and destroy all the main characters," Hazel shrugged. For that she received another whap, this time from Laura.

"Um…is she…O.K?" Yugi asked, looking weirded out and slightly worried.

"We have several theories about her mental status," Laura replied. "It's weird how someone who's top of our year at just about everything can be so stupid."

"Or perhaps she's right," Joey said as if he couldn't quite believe it. "Look!"

Meanwhile...

Ryou sweatdropped as he tried to pry the blonde chibi off his leg. The chibi had hearts in her eyes and was gabbling so quickly that the poor British bishie could barely understand what she was saying.

"HimynameisGeorgiayou'reRyouaren'tyouohmygoshyouarethebestiloveyousomuch!" she squealed. (Hi, my name is Georgia. You're Ryou, aren't you? Oh my gosh, you are the best! I love you so much!)

"Well, um...Georgia?" Ryou asked nervously. "Could you do me a favour?"

"Anything for you, beloved," Georgia replied with a dreamy sigh.

"Could you get off my leg?"

"...Anything except that."

XXXXXXXXXX

Joanne: Poor Ryou! I'd like to add that Georgia is a real person (when we called her chibi, we mean she's quite young) but I can't tell you what her relationship is to us yet. You'll find out eventually. And which of Hazel's theories is right then? You'll probably have another long wait, but I promise we'll work extra hard this time, K? Review now!


End file.
